Letter in the Time of the Coronavirus:
I don’t know whether to start with a reference to the Velveteen Rabbit who felt like his fur was thinning or Chicken Little who thought the sky was falling. Either way, the current medical, social, and economic landscape can be quite stirring. Fortunately, unlike Chicken Little, we know the sky is not falling.
It is certainly understandable to be anxious, frustrated, or even worried in this time of the Coronavirus. In view of these possible emotional reactions, I wanted to provide you, or re-iterate to you, some ways of trying to stay clam – and even be productive.
Often, when we feel anxious it is because our bodies are giving certain signals. Perhaps your stomach hurts, your head hurts, fists may be clenched, or your breathing is more rapid. Our thoughts may be racing and we may have trouble paying attention. We may be more impulsive than usual, or even irritable.
THE FOLLOWING ARE SOME OF THE FIRST TOOLS WE CAN USE:
Resist Racing Thoughts with negative scenarios or negative outcomes. Stay grounded in the moment, stay in the present. Hopefully, nothing is happening to you. YOU ARE OKAY. If the near future makes you nervous or anxious, mentally jump over that near future in your thoughts and look out six months from now when we are outside with friends and freely enjoying the things we like to do with others.
Practice Deep Breathing for Relaxation. Sit comfortably with legs, arms, and hands placed as they normally would be while sitting. Let your eyes look down to the floor or you may close them. Breathe slowly in through the nose and out through the mouth. Remember to breathe slowly. Your chest will fill and your belly will expand. As you breathe in and out, focus on the air stream: Slow in through the nose, slow out through the mouth. Keep the breathing SLOW. Imagine a butterfly being able to perch on that airstream. If troubling or distracting thoughts come into your mind, identify them as just thoughts and let them go. Let them float away, just like a bubble a child blows with a bubble wand. Just let them float away. Don’t engage with them. Come back to the focus on the airstream.
Harness the Effectance Drive. Another great thing to do is to harness a drive that a while back was identified by psychoanalytic thinking. The drive, entitled the Effectance Drive, underwent differing perspectives of various analysts, but as set forth by Greenberg (1991) at its core the drive is about doing what one can do and doing it as well as one can. There is an associated satisfaction, an accompanying “feeling of efficacy”, an internal feeling state, probably beginning in the body and initially experienced as the pleasure of movement. Think of a baby learning to walk. Soon after the initial internal sense of pleasure, there is a sense of agency with later feelings of competence, wellbeing, and a sense of mastery over the environment. Eventually enactment of this drive will influence one’s sense of self and self-sufficiency. In our current time, we can draw on this drive. Intentionally use it to learn a new skill at any developmental age. For example, children may develop a game, build a fort, or master something new. Teenagers may obtain an oral history from a cherished relative, perfect or write a song with musical accompaniment, decorate a room, or really master a jump shot. Adults can design something to solve a problem, develop a web page, write a story, or simply write a letter like the one I am writing to you.
Remember, this place where we find ourselves with regard to the Coronavirus will not last forever. Ask yourself the question asked first by time analysts, ”How is this time best used?” Use your time well. Imagine, create, breathe to stay calm when you need to, and “Do what you can do.”
I wish each of you the very best. I am here for you, in your corner. If you feel surrounded by metaphorically troubling waters, call me. I am on the riverbank ready to step down to help you at any time.
Respectfully,
Mary D. Laney, Ph.D.